If it wasn’t for goalball, Meica Horsburgh thinks the worst may have happened to her.
“I don’t reckon I’d be alive,” she says.
“Maybe suicide, maybe getting mixed up with the wrong crowd. I definitely wouldn’t be where I am today.”
The 31-year-old is the captain of the Australian women’s goalball team, a sport for those who are blind or vision impaired where the object is to throw a ball into the opponent’s net to score.
Athletes have to wear blackout eye masks and the ball has bells inside.
Horsburgh will be playing goalball at her third Paralympics in Tokyo next year, but all of that seemed like an impossible dream when she was a teenager.
‘I hated my life so much’
Horsburgh is legally blind due to ocular albinism.
Two of her four siblings also have the condition and it didn’t bother her much as a young child.
But things changed for the Brisbane local once she started high school.
“I went to a school with a special education unit, so that already made me stand out a little bit, but then [I’d] stand out a little bit more because I do look different to normal people,” she says.
“[There was] bullying on a daily or weekly basis. Growing up, high school is hard for everybody, but I feel I had it a little bit harder.
Horsburgh was just 13 when she attempted to take her life.
And as she struggled to cope with the intense bullying, she acted out.
“I would get in a lot of trouble. So I didn’t really respect my teachers, I was a bit naughty in that sense.
“I got into a few fights and dabbled in alcohol and smoking at a young age.”
Horsburgh admits she was heading down a dark path but thankfully, she discovered the sport that would become her lifeline.
How goalball changed everything
Horsburgh had heard about goalball when she was young because her siblings had played it.
But it wasn’t until she was in high school that she began to take it seriously.
“So I got into goalball more competitively just as the bullying was really bad.
Horsburgh made her international debut at 15 and connecting with other people who were like her made a huge difference.
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“I just found that and I knew that’s what I wanted and I had to be a better person.
“[I thought] I don’t care what people say about me because I know I can do great things. And playing goalball and knowing I could represent my country, that just turned me around.”
Leading the Belles to a brighter future
Horsburgh is now the longest-serving member of the Australian women’s team, the Belles, and has put off retirement to compete in the delayed 2021 Tokyo Paralympics.
She says it’s challenging to be competing in a sport with very little funding, where players often have to pay for court hire and uniforms.
But the sacrifices are worth it.
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“I started playing when we had absolutely no funding. So my first tournament, I was only 15 and it cost my parents probably $10,000.
“But to represent your country, put on the green and gold, not many people get that opportunity.
Horsburgh’s passion for the sport even led her to a greater love — her husband Jon Horsburgh is a member of the national men’s team.
They’re hoping to start a family after Tokyo and Horsburgh is grateful for how far she’s come.
“I don’t want to let people belittle me and things like that so I feel like I’m a stronger person.
“I still have my issues, I still am not confident in many, many ways.
