Two of Us with Bega’s Candelo bookshop owners, Myoung and Marianna Ypma

We were in Korea for eight years and had our son there [now 16; they also have two daughters, aged 13 and 10], then we came back. I grew up in Bega in southern NSW, and one day Mum and Dad rang: the Bega bookshop was for sale. The next thing we knew, we owned a bookshop. It was really hectic at first, adjusting to it with a toddler and breastfeeding a baby. Probably half the town’s seen my boobs. But it helped that we were both passionate about books. When we first got together, Myoung gave me Maurice Guest by Henry Handel Richardson – which I still haven’t read!

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Working together is fine. But we’ve just built a new house, and we’ve discovered that we cannot do anything house-related together. We can’t even watch each other doing it. Myoung let me completely control the new place. I hope he likes it, because he had no choice in it at all!

COVID-19 has been terrible, but we already had great local support and online sales because of the bushfires. The fires were so frightening. It was dark for days; there was smoke coming under the doors; you couldn’t breathe. But the shop and house were undamaged, and we were all safe, so it doesn’t even feel like my place to talk about it, really. I don’t know about this summer; I felt really unsettled recently when we had a very hot, smoky day. We’ve had a lot of rain since, but if it got dry again, I think there’d be a lot of very worried people.

I still haven’t really talked about everything that’s happened this year with Myoung, but he seems okay. He has his music – I can’t play a note or hold a tune – and the family’s all moseying along: he loves to see the people he cares about happy. His humour is probably what I love most about him these days. And even though he’s cut it, his hair still looks pretty good.

MYOUNG: Marianna jumped out of a van in Newtown and press ganged us into helping look for her dog. She was very flustered, and I was pretty taken aback, but she stayed in my head. She was like a whirlwind.

That’s one of her traits: she builds up a lot of energy around her, and it’s hard not to get sucked in. My family emigrated to Australia when I was five, and my background was very conservative, quite isolated. Marianna’s talkative and positive: she burst into my life like a firework. But I felt at home with her from the start, totally loved and accepted.

Much to my shame, when we moved to Korea I felt I let her down. It’s more conservative than Australia; we were unmarried; she was a foreigner – and I chose not to rock the boat. So I stopped being physically affectionate in public – which is frowned upon there – and I didn’t explain it to her. We were still very much in love, and very close, and at home nothing changed. But I think she noticed, and it did have an effect.

On the other hand, she’s been like my psychotherapist, helping me lose a lot of cultural baggage and ingrained attitudes, which I really appreciate. She’s also incredibly good at working through emotional issues with our kids. I wouldn’t know where to start – I don’t remember a single discussion of feelings with my parents! But I really enjoy listening to her.

I could have stayed longer in Korea: I was in a band, and we played some festivals, so you’re always thinking, “Okay, any minute we’re really going to hit the big time!” But owning the bookshop seemed like a perfect opportunity. We’ve both always loved books. I remember trying to share Maurice Guest with her, which I love, and she never read it! But that’s okay.

The first few years in the bookshop were challenging, but when you’ve got young children you’re running on fumes anyway. Coming from a place that never sleeps to a country town was a shock. A city friend who came to visit was too scared to go outside at night, because it’s so black. I remember that feeling.

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During the bushfires, Marianna was very calm, controlled, level-headed. We stayed in the shop for a few days with the dogs and cat and guinea pigs. But incredibly, given everything, it’s been a wonderful year for the business. Reading is one of those simple pleasures people have come back to.

What would I change about her? House-building! No. I think the person with the stronger will and desire took the reins there, and I marvel at what she’s accomplished; it’s beautiful. I guess one thing is that sometimes I’ll be spouting some wild artistic idea, and she doesn’t fall for it! We used to talk about my creative process – I’m being very selfish here – and she was a big part of it, but she doesn’t have time anymore. I think she feels she doesn’t have that creative talent, which is so untrue, and I miss her input. But maybe when the kids are bigger, we’ll come back to it.

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