The Hockeyroos are a team always under pressure, but seven months out from the Tokyo Olympic games they are facing a very different pressure — the type that breaks people.
Since winning back-to-back gold medals in Atlanta 1996 and at home in Sydney 2000, Australia’s women’s hockey team is expected to win gold every time they enter a tournament.
And Tokyo 2021 is no different.
But there is an internal crisis happening on the eve of what was meant to be the biggest moment of their lives.
Comparisons have been made to the Matildas, who were forced to confront their own crisis months out from the 2019 FIFA Women’s World Cup.
The timing for football then, as with hockey now, was devastating.
Stories have been circulating. Past senior players featured in a statement by the Australian Hockey Players’ Association (AHPA) pointing to a “toxic environment” involving cultural and leadership issues.
Governing body Hockey Australia responded by commissioning an independent review, but that was criticised by players for not being independent enough, nor coming soon enough.
There are selection appeals in the wings and legal action underway in Western Australia’s Equal Opportunity Commission.
Hockeyroos defender says mental health concerns brushed aside
Until recently, Lily Brazel was a Hockeyroos midfielder whose life for the past 18 years was dedicated to becoming an Olympian.
Rather than preparing for Tokyo, she’s preparing for a day in court.
Today, she will describe her experiences and grievances to the independent panel conducting the Hockey Australia inquiry, chaired by the Australian Institute of Sport’s manager of conduct and professionalism, Richard Redman.
She will tell the inquiry about her mental health struggles and her request for some time away — a request she claims was denied and her concerns never taken seriously.
“During August … I brought it to their attention how much I had been struggling over the course of the year, which I had mentioned and been sort of communicating to them since COVID,” she said.
“They had been quite aware of what was going on for me mentally and that I was seeing an external psychologist.”
Request for leave sparked contract ultimatum, Brazel claims
Brazel says she asked for six weeks off to reconnect with her club team in the hope she could rediscover her love of the game, which she said was missing for “well over a year, if not two years” in the national program.
“I was in a pretty dark space, I wasn’t able to get out of bed, I had anxiety going to training and most days when I came home I was feeling pretty empty and I expressed all that to them,” she said.
“I needed to step away to find this headspace that I could live in. I just couldn’t do that remaining in the program.”
Brazel claims that during meetings with Hockey Australia she was constantly made to feel like she didn’t have a real problem, that her issue wasn’t serious, and was told if she wanted to take leave she would lose her spot in the team.
Hockey Australia did not wish to comment on any aspect of Brazel’s allegations because they are a part of her legal claim for unfair dismissal.
Brazel said choosing her mental health over her commitment to remain in the Hockeyroos squad was the right choice at the time but an unfair one for her to have to make.
“I felt like I wasn’t quite being true to myself by being in there because it felt so wrong and I felt so unhappy and I was just trying so hard to hold on to this idea that I had created when I was seven, when I was 10, when I was 14, 16, 18, and just hang on to that with everything that I had,” she said.
“But at 25 my values had changed, my mental state had changed, and holding to that dream no longer felt true for me.”
Since leaving the team, the months that have passed and the conversations she has had have not been easy.
“I felt so lost and broken. I felt like I had walked away from that dream and was so uncertain what life looked like now, and who I was, and what I would do,” she said.
“It’s been, and it still is, really hard to not give up that dream but [it’s even harder] to see it disappear over an issue I think could have been handled so differently.”
Her case will be heard by the WA Equal Opportunity Commission, with a date to be set in the new year.
High-performance programs being questioned across sports
Meanwhile, the independent inquiry is expected to deliver its report to Hockey Australia in February.
The players association has actively pushed for the report to be made available to key stakeholders outside of the Hockey Australia board, including the AHPA.
Hockey Australia chief executive Matt Favier told The Ticket the allegations made were serious and warranted investigation.
“It’s fair to say 12 months ago when we were looking forward to what was the 2020 Olympic Games, we felt we were in a very good place,” he said.
“I think 12 months on, the level of complexity around many factors to our program have certainly been something that we didn’t anticipate — the extent of this particular set of challenges.”
COVID-19 and the delayed Tokyo Olympics may have added an extra layer of pressure to hockey’s high-performance unit, but the nature of these sorts of programs is being questioned more often.
Cricket Australia held a culture review, not long after the Australian Olympic Committee had its own.
There’s currently a review of Gymnastics Australia being done by the Human Rights Commission, which was also tasked with reviewing racial equality inside Basketball Australia.
The Collingwood Football Club is due to release its own culture review after allegations of racism.
Brazel said athletes expected pressure in any top-level sport, but there should be alternatives in the models used.
“There needs to be that pressure, I suppose, to have successful teams, but I think what Hockey Australia has got wrong, and many sports have, is this ‘disposable approach’ we have to our athletes that we’re just trying to get the best out of them instead of creating this environment where they can be their best selves and be the best player they can be,” she said.
“It’s just like constant seeking for better, and for improvement, that can really derail you if you’re not appreciated or valued for other things or just who you are as a person and the environment doesn’t notice you.
“I think that’s where Hockey Australia is really failing the women’s side of the program.”
