If you’re going to take the gig, go big, say what needs to be said!

Cronk does.

Bruce is rolled gold

No Bruce McAvaney, not you, too!

Famous commentators like you – the likes of Alan McGilvray, Norman May, Ray Warren, Richie Benaud, Denis Cometti, Gordon Bray, Lou Richards, Les Murray, Darrell Eastlake – are not just sporting icons. You are no less than the soundtrack of our sporting lives, and when you suddenly announce your retirement, like you did this week, the visceral response is a little counterintuitive. It is not just that you must be getting older – it’s that we must be. If you’ve been there for three or four decades like all of the above, and have now gone, Jeez, Louise, look at your watch – it is now the third decades of the 21st century! Why weren’t we told?

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Getting colder. Getting older. Rug up. Farewell for the moment, Bruce. Maybe see you down at the bowlo. If we are joined by Ray Warren any time soon it’ll be time to buy a blazer, sprinkle dandruff on our shoulders and talk about how it was all so much better in the old days.

Ah, sing it, T.S. Eliot!

I grow old, I grow old.
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

Time running out for Tahs

The explanation for the complete decimation of the Waratahs in the opening two matches of the season, where they’ve ceded a total of over 100 points to Reds and the Brumbies in successive weeks and then declined to have a bat themselves? At least part of it is that they have been denuded of so much experience in the off-season, with so many their previous mainstays like Michael Hooper, Ned Hanigan and Bernard Foley now plying their trade in Japan. Obviously this is no small thing, and is one card that can be played by besieged Waratahs coach Rob Penney to survive.

Against that?

Against that, all the other Australian teams have faced similar problems, whereby Europe and Japan can offer some of their best and most experienced players more money than they can. (And that issue is only going to get worse as, even in the Age of the Plague, the money on offer gets so staggering it is also likely to start snaffling NRL stars.)

But the bottom line remains. NSW is the heartland of Australian rugby, boasting the largest nursery of players to pick from, the largest potential pool of spectators to attend, while having the largest number of potential sponsors of heavyweight nature based in their home city. With those natural advantages it is simply unacceptable to concede 100 points in the first two weeks, and Penney won’t survive unless there is a radical turnaround. Ideally, by the time this goes to print the Tahs will have beaten the Western Force, and things will settle down. But if it was another thumping … watch this space. Because there will be one in the Waratahs coaching spot.

Jo must not go on

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TFF had a bit of a rant on Thursday about the insanity of how – in the face of Joseph Suaalii’s brilliance – the Roosters and the NRL are looking to waive the rule which requires all players to be 18 years old before taking the field in the top grade. One more time for the dummies at dummy-half, the rule was commendably brought in six years ago in the face of shocking statistics which showed how badly many younger men were struggling with the pressures of league. And it wasn’t just physical problems. Mental issues were also apparent and, as I wrote, what prompted the rule change in 2015 was the tragic early deaths of five young men from the National Youth Competition, who had seemingly not coped with all the pressure that early stardom had placed upon them.

“We did a detailed study of those kids and what happened to them,” the NRL’s head of game strategy and development Shane Richardson explained to The Australian when they brought the new rule in. “It didn’t have as big an impact on me in the beginning than it did in the end.”

Get it? It was a serious rule, brought in for an extremely serious purpose.

Ah, the smarties say, but Suaalii is different. You should see the way he plays, the command he has on the field!

This would be after one game in reserve grade, yes? Where at game’s end he had to be helped from the field after suffering cramp? Please.

The rule was brought in because the NRL realised it had a duty of care not to throw 17-year-olds into the toughest footballing cauldron on earth before they were ready, when data demonstrated the terrible damage it could do. It was a blanket rule, to make it the same for all clubs, on a level playing field. And it matters not a jot if Suaalii actually is ready, physically, emotionally and mentally to take his place on the field. For any move to waive the rule for him, inevitably weakens the rule for all, as other clubs will inevitably seek their own waivers in years to come, pointing to the Suaalii precedent. The fact that Suaalii also appears to be a remarkably level-headed young man, with a fine family around him and great support, has nothing to do with it. For ultimately the issue is not about him, it is about players of his whole age-group being protected.

It is a nonsense to change it, a dangerous nonsense at that. In the words of the very wise Roosters fullback, James Tedesco: “Let him be 17 and let him enjoy his youth”.

Is that really so much to ask, when the consequences of getting it wrong for him and other young men are so potentially devastating?

What they said

Outgoing Rugby Australia CEO Rob Clarke on Alan Jones: “There are certain individuals, and I’ll mention Alan Jones as one, who I just think consistently takes the negative approach and the personal approach which I find very disappointing … His tone in particular has become so predictably vitriolic and bitter and twisted that in my view he’s lost a lot of credibility. Many people have now switched off because he’s just constantly denigrating the game … Frankly, very few people I think now take them seriously.”

Benji Marshall on turning 36 and being one of the oldest in the NRL: “I am proud of it. It is a number, I don’t give a shit about the number.”

Soccer player Zlatan Ibrahimovic criticising the political activism of sports stars like LeBron James: “Do what you’re good at. Do the category that you do. I play football because I’m the best at playing football, I’m no politician. If I’d been a politician, I would be doing politics. This is the first mistake famous people do when they become famous and come into a certain status. For me it is better to avoid certain topics and do what you’re best at doing, because otherwise it doesn’t look good.”

LeBron James in response to Ibrahimovic: “I would never shut up about things that are wrong. I preach about my people and I preach about equality, social injustice, racism, systematic voter suppression, things that go on in our community. There’s no way I would ever just stick to sports, because I understand how powerful this platform and my voice is.”

John Coates on what Brisbane has to do to secure the games: “The IOC now deal exclusively with us while we complete the questionnaire. The other cities who have shown interest have been parked … it’s significant recognition. It will go to a vote and we’ve got to get 50% plus one – I’ll be able to get those numbers.”

Waratahs coach Rob Penney on the capitulation to the Brumbies: “It’s hard to (sum it up); there’s not enough words to express the disappointment and I’ve got a shattered group . . . We got a really good shellacking. They’re proud young men and they’re really hurting, they’re broken. You could say we need to be harder on them but the boys need a bit of love and we need to get back on the horse and prepare for next week.”

Bruce McAvaney on hanging up the AFL Microphone: “I felt like I got to a stage in my career where I had to reduce my workload. I’m going to miss it enormously, I just visualise when Richmond and Carlton run out there in round one, and the ball is bounced, I’m going to climb a wall somewhere. I’m going to have to move on and just be a fan like everybody else.”

The wise James Tedesco to the press, on Joseph Suaalii: “Let him be 17 and let him enjoy his youth.”

Joseph Suaalii on the back of one reserve grade match: “I’m just taking it all in, I’m learning from the older boys, learning from ‘Robbo’, but I feel like I’m ready – physically and mentally – for the NRL.”

Unnamed player in response to the new NRL rules, designed to make the game even faster: “F— these new rules. I couldn’t breathe.”

Yohan Blake of Jamaica says he would rather miss the Tokyo Games than get the COVID-19 vaccine: “My mind still stays strong, I don’t want any vaccine, I’d rather miss the Olympics than take the vaccine, I am not taking it. I don’t really want to get into it now, but I have my reasons.”

In the Australian’s deep dive into Australian rugby, Jeff Messitt, secretary of the Bundaberg Waves Falcons Rugby Union club states where it’s at: “Kids can’t name a current Wallaby … funny the only one that they know is Israel Folau. And he’s now gone.”

Team of the Week

Waratahs. Lost to the Brumbies 61-10 last Saturday night, a week after being battered 41-7 by the Reds.

Alexei Popyrin. The Australian tennis player won the Singapore Tennis Open.

Hannah Darlington. At 19 years and 31 days, NSW’s youngest-ever cricket captain.

Ben Simmons. The Australian basketballer has been made an NBA All-Star for the third straight season.

Akila Dananjaya. Sri Lankan bowler took a hat-trick in a T20 international against the West Indies before Kieron Pollard hit him for six sixes in his next over. Talk about a rollercoaster of a match!

Twitter: @Peter_Fitz

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