Cleanskin Speakman is one to watch in any race to replace Berejiklian

Look, I know Ita is perfectly well equipped to make a reply – she’s been around the block so often she can do her block with force and grace – and yet, I can’t resist.

Here’s what I would write in response: “Minister, please. While we have no interest in politicians’ private lives per se, we do have an interest in good governance and in holding the powerful to account, which is precisely what this program did. We are living and working in a time when, through such things as the MeToo movement, there has never been greater interest in the issue of sexual interaction in the workplace, most particularly when there is a power imbalance. The fact that it is a legitimate field of journalistic endeavour is beyond dispute. Are you really saying that is OK, so long as it stops at the door of the government itself?

We say the government and its ministers must be beyond reproach. And if you’re no less than the Attorney-General overseeing the laws of the land, how obvious is it that in the same vein as “justice must not only be done, but be seen to done”, even the appearance of an Attorney-General doing the wrong thing is highly problematic?

Right now, even while subject to these allegations, (which, I know, for the record, he denies), Christian Porter’s department is overseeing two important duties for the public: the investigation of former High Court justice Dyson Heydon on allegations of sexual harassment (though, yes, these are in a different league to the allegations against the A-G) and framing the response to Sex Discrimination Commissioner Kate Jenkins’s report on sexual harassment in the workplace. Both turn on superiors having sexual interaction with their staff. Is it not in the public interest that our Walkley-award winning journalist examines his behaviour? I repeat: Minister please!

Can I respectfully remind you that your job is to be the Minister for Communications for all Australians, and to act in Australia’s interests, not the interests of the Liberal Party. Would you have written me exactly the same letter if the field of inquiry was Labor politicians only? I can accept that our program was uncomfortable for your colleagues. Being held to account always is. But it was fine journalism, fully within our charter, and we make no apology.
Good day to you,
Ita.”

Three cheers for The Crown

No, we at the Australian Republic Movement, which I chair, did not contribute to the costs of that superb production The Crown. But now, having seen the better part of Season 4, I am certain it would have been money well spent. For I am delighted to report that since its airing, the ARM has had a strong surge of membership inquiries, and it has helped focus the public mind on the absurdity of the whole institution – and even the need to free the family trapped in its gilded cage.

Seriously, for those who have seen it, does it not help to explain why Harry did a runner? Who wouldn’t? And yes, I get that bits and pieces have been embellished, but to that I offer two things. First, les grandes lignes, as the French say, are right on the money, with the broad brushstrokes certainly on the historical record. Second, it is a bit much for the monarchists to complain about the portrayal of the family not staying totally faithful to reality, when the whole edifice of the monarchy rests on suspending that reality in the first place.

Cue Jerry Seinfeld, one more time for the road, on why he was not excited to be in London for the royal wedding of William and Kate: “Well, it’s a circus act, it’s an absurd act . . . You know, it’s dress-up. It’s a classic English thing of let’s play dress-up. Let’s pretend that these are special people. Okay, we’ll all pretend that – that’s what theatre is. That’s why the British have the greatest theatre in the world. They love to dress up and they love to play pretend. And that’s what the royal family is – it’s a huge game of pretend. These aren’t special people – it’s fake outfits, fake phony hats and gowns.”

You get the drift. If your whole institution has been built, through theatre, on the absurd notion that there is something special about the very blood that runs in your veins, can you really complain if theatre beyond your control has a theme that your blood is actually just like ours?

I’ll be in my trailer.

Tweet of the Week

“If the Democrats, with diabolical genius, and extraordinary co-operation and strategy, were able to win the election on such a grand scale, and hide ALL the evidence, they should be running the country.” Margaret Brennan @Mmbrenn

Joke of the Week

“Cash, cheque or card?” I ask, after folding items the woman wishes to purchase.

As she fumbles for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a TV set in her purse.

“So, do you always carry your TV remote?” I ask.

“No,” she replies, “but my husband refused to come shopping with me and I figured this was the most evil thing I could legally do to him.”

Quotes of the Week

“It is quite sinister the way that [writer Peter] Morgan is clearly using light entertainment to drive a very overt republican agenda and people just don’t see it. They have been lured in over the first few series until they can’t see how they are being manipulated. It is highly sophisticated propaganda.” – An unnamed friend of Prince Charles to The Daily Mail, on the the portrayal of the heir to the throne, in The Crown.

“While we’ve enjoyed your creative licence, Hawke did not call the Queen a pig on our show and say, ‘You wouldn’t put a pig in charge of a herd of prime beef cattle, even if it does look good in a twin set and pearls’.” – Four Corners upbraids the producers of The Crown for embellishing dialogue of an interview it did with Bob Hawke in 1983.

“I’m your host for this evening, I’ll be taking you through the night and I’ll be choosing my words very carefully because TV shows used to get cancelled [but] now people get cancelled … like Pete Evans. He was dropped from I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here. It’s a missed opportunity for Channel Ten though, the first challenge could have been ‘try this vaccination’ … or ‘stand under this 5G tower’ … or ‘be credible’.” – Tom Gleeson, brilliantly hosting the Australian Academy of Cinema and Television Arts Awards (ACTAAs), on Monday evening.

“Mr President … stop inspiring people to commit potential acts of violence. Someone is going to get hurt, someone is going to get shot, someone is going to get killed. And it’s not right.” – Gabriel Sterling, the Republican official who oversaw the implementation of the state of Georgia’s new voting system, in an impassioned public address.

“I’m disgusted and disappointed with Formula One for showing or choosing the way to show it as they did, and broadcast replays after replays after replays of the fire, and his car split in half. And then, like that’s not enough, they go to his onboard. Why do we need to see this? We’re competing again in an hour. His family has to keep watching that. All our families have to keep watching that … It’s really unfair. It’s not entertainment.” – Daniel Ricciardo blasting the “Hollywood” coverage of Romain Grosjean’s fiery Bahrain Grand Prix crash on Sunday, saying he was disgusted by Formula One showing endless replays while drivers were waiting for the race to restart.

“Don’t be afraid, we’re coming to bring you peace!” – Tweet from China showing a photoshopped image of an Australian soldier holding a bloody knife to the throat of the Afghan child.

“The Chinese government should be totally ashamed of this post, it diminishes them in the world’s eyes.” – Scott Morrison speaking against the tweet

“Doomscrolling.” – The Macquarie Dictionary Word of the Year for 2020. It translates as “the act of consuming an endless procession of negative online news, to the detriment of the scroller’s mental wellness”.

“This deeply tragic event was unexpected, but that does not mean it was unforeseeable.” – Phil Parkes, chief executive of New Zealand’s Worksafe, as charges were laid against 13 parties after the death of 22 people in the White Island volcanic explosion last year.

“I honestly do not know where to start or how I can ever thank you for all of your incredible efforts to campaign for my release. I am totally blown away by everything you have done for me, I honestly have no words to express the depth of my gratitude and how touched I am.” –Australian university lecturer Kylie Moore-Gilbert in a statement thanking her friends and supporters for their successful efforts to free her from Iraqi prison on trumped-up charges of “spying”.

“Teddy Sheean exemplified the characteristics that the first Anzacs left us – mateship, endurance, courage and sacrifice.” – Governor-General, General (retd) David Hurley as, 78 years after the death of Edward Sheean, he became the first member of the Royal Australian Navy to be awarded a Victoria Cross – the highest award in the Australian honours system.

“I’m not saying stop everything and do nothing. But do not placate us. This government offered me and other mothers a Mother’s Medal. Do you think that I don’t know what that would look like? Maybe a little rope or a bottle of pills that I can wear saying that my child committed suicide? I’m not going to be placated. My son is dead.” – Julie-Ann Finney, whose son David took his own life in early 2019, who believes a royal commission into veteran suicides won’t do anything for veterans or their families.

Loading

“Anybody who thinks the election went well, like that idiot Krebs who used to be the head of cybersecurity [for Trump]. That guy is a class-A moron. He should be drawn and quartered. Taken out at dawn and shot.” – Trump lawyer Joe DiGenova, taking aim at US Cybersecurity chief Christopher Krebs – who was fired by President Trump resident for daring to denying voter fraud in the election.

“Even the language is more brutal. I this week read of the ‘heartfelt’ Instagram post of a footballer’s fiance, [sic] battling to get pregnant through IVF. ‘Motherhood sounds so f—ing magical,’ she wrote. How that obscenity jarred next to ‘motherhood’.” – The redoubtable Andrew Bolt, in a column on why he was leaving Melbourne for good. Oh, the humanity.

TWITTER: @Peter_Fitz