Meghan Markle is helping to bust myths about suicide

The answer is that ‘having it all’ isn’t the same as having good mental health.

Anyone can experience depression or suicidal thoughts. These conditions do not discriminate against class, race, or life circumstances. There can be events that trigger the condition’s onset, and sometimes it’s hard to know why it’s happened.

The appearance of happiness doesn’t mean you’re being fake

Meghan referred to a photo of herself and Harry at a glamorous event, where the pair looked as happy as ever – and yet, they were clinging to each other as she shed tears when the lights were down.

The smiles we had seen were displayed in one of her lowest times.

The sequins, lipstick and smiles very clearly defy the image we have of people who are experiencing depression.

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We imagine them unable to get out of bed, crying and dishevelled, having not seen the inside of a shower for days. That can be true for some people – or at some times within a struggle – but it’s not the only way to experience a mental health challenge.

I can relate. When I admitted to having depression, everyone around me was shocked. They’d only seen me up and about, dressed, with my children receiving loving attention, and my house in order. I was asked many times if I had felt a pressure to keep up appearances, and even if I’d faked the smiles.

In fact, it wasn’t about others at all.

Getting up and going out was a version of being in survival mode. It is often referred to as high-functioning depression.

At home, in the quiet, by myself or alone with the children, I was circled with the thoughts; keeping busy was a distraction that got me through the long days. It was exhausting, but I was scared to stop.

Asking for help is not attention seeking

There has long been this line that’s trotted out when suicidal thoughts are raised: those who talk about it are just seeking attention. This is absolutely incorrect.

We now know that talking about suicidal thoughts is vital in order to access help and to save lives.

Experts encourage us to ask those who are struggling whether they’ve had suicidal thoughts, because these open conversations can be an important step to recovery.

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And those of us who have had suicidal thoughts need to be given the space to speak, without shame, so that we can let out the fear that exists in our heads, and ask for the help we need.

One way to model this to the people in our lives is to listen, learn from and believe people who do speak publicly about their mental health challenges.

There is life after recovering from mental health challenges

When you’re in it, it can feel impossible to imagine life being ‘normal’ again. But it absolutely can.

Beyond Blue say that having a support person, which can include seeking professional help – as Meghan most likely did once she was able to – is an important step in getting to that point.

The truth is, there is a whole lot of life – really good life – waiting for us when we climb back out of the depths of struggle.

Megan Blandford is the author of I’m Fine (and other lies), a memoir of recovering from postnatal depression.