Sorry, excuse me while I wipe down my keyboard … I’m salivating. Essentially bolognese bruschetta goes like this. Order spaghetti bolognese from your local Italian. I’d say make it but ugh, effort. Also I feel like if you were to spend hours slow-cooking a bolognese sauce it shouldn’t be bastardised in this way. You also need to order garlic bread from the same restaurant. The cheaper, flimsier, white bread-ier (that’s a word now) the garlic bread is the better. The final requirement is the cheapest packet of shredded cheese you can get your hands on. If it’s plastic … I’ll have it! Don’t get bogged down trying to get all fancy pants with parmesan or pecorino. In fact, I often travel with a packet. The great thing is it doesn’t require refrigeration because … it’s not real cheese!! How you choose to assemble your bolognese bruschetta is up to you. Let your freak flag fly I say. If you can be bothered (and really, who can?) you could pile the spaghetti and bolognese on top of the garlic bread, cover with cheese and place under the grill. But again, that requires physically getting out of bed. I prefer the following approach. I bust out my stable table (don’t judge, I went through Melbourne lockdown, everyone has a stable table now). I mix my faux cheese through the pasta and bolognese in advance and then swirl it up on my fork, on to the garlic bread and then straight in to my mouth. If I’m feeling even lazier … I’ll break the garlic bread up and mix it through the spaghetti. Then all I need is one hand and the other is free to scroll UberEats on the hunt for dessert. To be fair we were getting to a stage there where they were becoming an important part of my daily diet (once again: I’m blaming the lockdown blues). But I’d love to know from you what your comfort meals are. Slide in to my DMs. Send me a tweet. Stop me on the street and just yell “CHEESEBURGER!”. I’m not fussy (clearly). But trust and believe I’m writing this column as I fly home mid-tour after some great shows and a couple of huge weeks of work. So you can bet your bottom dollar bolognese bruschetta is on the menu tonight.



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